LIFE IN A DISCO

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The most memorable experiences in life co-incidentally are also the most unexpected ones. That is one thing which has struck me in my vast array of experiences in life. Who would expect that last Saturday, when I was surely going to miss the celebration of the Indian community here in Columbia, would turn out to be such a blast? Well, I am scheduled to work every Saturday and all the cultural events have been organized on Saturdays. First I missed the function called India Nite, which was a cultural event filled with songs, dances, merriment and entertainment, which i got to know from people as I wasn’t there. Then I missed the Diwali Dinner, where there was going to be more entertainment and Indian food (My weak point), and I was going to miss it all. I come back from my job, frustrated from standing for 6 straight hours and then cleaning the entire dining complex and to top it doing all these things while the rest were having a gala time at the Diwali Dinner.

So Santosh comes back from the party, and tells me: “ Get dressed dude, we are going out!!”. I look at the clock .. 11:00 PM. But I didn’t care, the day was very frustrating and I didn’t even ask where we were going. Actually we were going to Déjà vu, one of the hottest clubs in town. I never expected such an awesome way to end my day. So within an hour’s time, we were at the gates of the club (10 mins for me to get ready and the rest 50 mins for the girls). And before we went in, Uday told Santosh to take off the hood of his sweater, off his head. Now I was wondering, what the hell is the connection between the hood and entering the club! But to my amazement, I saw a sign out which said, Please do not wear any headgear in the club, except for baseball hats worn straight! No hooded clothing permitted inside. What!! What were they expecting ? Jaadu from Koi Mil Gaya showing up in the club and fainting due to lack of sunshine?????? Anyways, so we entered the club and it did seriously look like a spaceship, just a lot cooler!! (considering the spaceships from Shaktimaan)

Inside the club it was a totally different world in itself. Before entering the club, the atmosphere was cold and chilly, however a couple of passport checks and $5 entrance fees later I felt as if I had come to a totally different planet. The natural environment here consisted of a warm cozy habitat accompanied with loud acoustics interrupted intermittently by the harsh vocals of the DJ. The entire audience was swaying to the beats which were at his mercy. He was the king, ruling his subjects and making them dance to his wish, simply by the touch of a button - actually a lot of buttons and switches. So after we bowed down before the immense power that he possessed, we made a move to the bar. On the way, we noticed the security arrangements. At every strategic point which could be a possible melee venue, were posted huge and I mean really really huge gladiators, casually also referred to as the bouncers. Actually the fascination of WWE wrestlers made my mouth open in awe as I watched their physical presence. People made sure they had their personal space, and no one dared entered vicinity. And so when I realized that I was gazing at them, I made sure that I got out of there as fast as I can, lest they think that I was some mischief maker or even worse in case someone misinterpreted my awestruck look as a sign of interest.

So we headed straight to the bar counter which was the Wall Street of the club. All the people were screaming their orders to the bartender who kept repeating to everyone, “You’ll have to say that a little louder, please”. I guess this was a tactic to make them thirstier, and convert it into more revenues for this self dependent economy. So everyone grabbed whatever they wanted to, no physical references here, and we headed straight for the attraction of the club, the dance floor. However I was too tired to dance, so I took a seat on a nearby table, keeping guard of all the jackets and the drink of a friend. Soon all my friends blended into the jungle while I sat far away from the crowd, watching the moves of each and every species in the habitat.

I watched as everyone was high in their own world, girls and guys alike were dancing as if no one was watching them, and they didn’t care even if anyone was. Then there were these two babes who felt the sudden urge to climb atop the bar table and start their own performance. They were pretty good at it. One of them urged her boyfriend to come on top of the table and just as he was about to climb the table the bouncer pushed him off, just hinting by a gesture that no guys on tables. Now this is particularly true about the bouncer species that they never seem to speak. The entire time they are standing with their hands folded, yet they managed a real-time response of less than 100ms when a situation seemed to be going out of hand. Coming back to the topic, I thought, where in the world has gone the concept of equality? The guys being equal to the girls and all that feminist talk? But then I realized.. why would I want guys crowding the table tops when two more girls can take up that place??? So I cheered loudly as that guy was pushed from the table. And all of a sudden one bouncer came towards me. I thought, it seems to be end of the ride for me as this guy was going to throw me out. He was not quite tall .. just “six” feet and heavily built, he looked like a hippo who had put on a black shirt. But to my relief he had come to pick up empty glasses of people who had not bothered to throw them or half-full glasses of people who had forgotten where their drinks were. He walked over to me and he spoke, yes he spoke, in fact he boomed.. “Is that drink yours?”, then I remembered about the friends drink on the table in front of me. I tried saying yes, but nothing seemed like I had a vocal cord malfunction. I just managed a slight nod and he understood. They surely are experts of non-verbal communication.

But in a short time I was going to witness the star attraction of the night. At the center of the stage was a group of women wildly enjoying the party! One of them was wearing a bride’s headdress so I guessed that they must be having a bachelor’s party. However it was their company which was stealing all the light. It was a male doll with enhanced masculine features, elongated masculine features to be precise. This was too much for me, a group of heavy-weight women enjoying the party with their blessed friend and I was sitting here instead of enjoying the party. So I hit the dance floor with the enthusiasm which was still well short of theirs but was quite a lot for me. I joined the group and danced my heart out, the loud music on the dance floor surely went to the head and made me forget everything about the past or the future. I was high just by the beats and the songs were surely catching up. There were more observations for me on the dance floor than off it. There was this guy who was surely looking gay, who kept dancing his way into groups of guys and then as guys gave him weird looks, retreating his way back to his original location. The bachelor’s party was still working full swing with no signs of fatigue which was impressive considering the Body-Mass-Index. Suddenly there seemed to be this sudden dearth of feminine life form on the dance-floor. On further investigation I realized that all the girls were heading for the table on which only girls were allowed to dance. The DJ clinching this opportunity played the song “I kissed a girl and I liked it” sung by a girl. The crowd went wild and it went wilder when all the 7-8 girls started dancing synchronously to the beats of the song. Everyone was enjoying it when one of the bachelor’s party heavyweights went aboard the table. It took two bouncers, who managed to carry well grown adults out of the club with just one hand, to help this lady on to the table. Very soon the 7-8 hot chicks were replaced by four members of the bachelor party and their plastic friend.

Witnessing this bizarre debacle of interest in the on-table performance, we resumed our dance floor gymnastics trying to make sure that we don’t get carried away by the beats and start a Ganpati dance over there. We were towards the end of the night and the couple dance disintegrated into a free-for-all. People started scattering across the dance floor, however there was this one particular group of girls that impressed me. One of the girls was so drunk that she didn’t realize where she was and what she was doing, however her two other female friends were keeping her away from all the unwanted prowlers who tried to dance with her and on one occasion even asked a guy to maintain a safe distance. But we didn’t mind females who were slowly drifting into our group, and soon it was just Sandeep and I left to take care of all on the dance floor. All of a sudden I felt a hand on my head. I looked behind to check who it was.. to find a girl had accidentally put her hand on my head. So I resumed my dance, but the boyfriend of that girl was in a playful mood, the second time he put his hand on my head. Both of them were well over 6 feet so it wasn’t a problem for either. I looked behind with an amused look but he had more surprises in stock for me. He started pushing his girlfriend onto me, and she was falling over me. I wouldn’t have minded her under normal circumstances, but with her boyfriend right behind her I had no clue what to do. Thankfully this stopped pretty soon, and I forgot about it even sooner as two hot girls joined us from the other side. But before we could praise our luck, the rest of the gang came back to the dance floor and the girls slowly drifted out of focus. Soon enough, the last song of the night was played and before we knew it, it was over. The entire crowd dispersed, and the lively ecosystem was now a barren desert. We made our way out of the club, the chill outside felt more pleasant now. After all it was one more first experience, it was the first time I visited a club in the United States!!!!!!!